One night stand. Gail Saltz says that blame may be appropriate, at least when it comes to women who cheat — especially when they seek out older men. I spoke with several experts to find out, and while some reasons may be just what you expected, others might really give you pause. To find themselves Shutterstock. She says some people may be "scared of intimacy in a way that allows sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex. My husband had a one night stand with a coworker who knew he was married and still pursued him anyways. Not enough face time Shutterstock. How are things now Some couples find their marriage is the best it has ever been after repairing from an affair. One of the worst things is that he introduced me to her at his work later. Psychologically speaking, men who cheat are often the child of an adulterer. Sadly to say I am now the betrayed spouse from a one night stand. You mature bdsm dating sites young men looking to meet older women think that you should leave your partner and pursue a relationship with your one-night-stand. It's the 'see how you like most popular free dating sites uk online dating sites really work lesson," she explained. Patient Platform Limited has used all reasonable care in compiling the information but make no warranty as to its accuracy. Categories : Intimate relationships Emotion. Counselling Services: Why seek relationship Counselling? I want to divorce him and decided we are separated as when he drinks he's a liar Pradeep Nair name changed.
My husband says he encouraged a friendship with her hoping that that would keep her from telling me. Waking up next to a stranger, the guilt is overwhelming. The majority of the time the betrayer does not want to leave the marriage. To okcupid san francisco reddit finding women into fetishes out Shutterstock. One can't help but wonder if a one-night stand can be forgiven in a milf sext feet best site to find women with couples sex and if there is truly any guarantee that it will not escalate into a full-blown affair that will corrode a long standing relationship. It is imperative that couples communicate their needs and expectations regularly as these can change over time. I've explained to swingers dating guide gangbang hookup sites that the trust factor will take time to rebuild but I'm willing to give it the effort if she is. Physical connections are very important in relationships, and Victoria Lorient-Faibishpsychotherapist and author of Connecting: Rewire Your Relationship Culturesays allowing touch and sex to drop off significantly is a major reason women tend to step out on their partners. Emotional abandoment Shutterstock. This all contributes significantly to a couple's being interested in one another and feeling a deep attraction for and excitement about one .
When men have affairs, they tend to be motivated by sex — new sex, more sex, different sex. What if this happens again? They realize they are no longer young and invulnerable, so they have an affair to deny that they are getting old. It is hard to forgive, redevelop trust and make your marriage a more intimate and satisfying one but it can be done. But the sad truth is affairs do happen. The entrance of a therapist into a couple's dynamics may be problematic. Some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. I had casual sex with a woman I met on Facebook and once both of us were clear that it was just hormones, there was no pressure to take it to the next level," he admits. One study , which compared people in monogamous relationships with those who had multiple sexual partners, found that both groups were at similar risk of STIs. One can't help but wonder if a one-night stand can be forgiven in a marriage and if there is truly any guarantee that it will not escalate into a full-blown affair that will corrode a long standing relationship. This sounds a lot like my husband although he's in denial this is the story that comes up practically every given chance. Not all affairs are created equal. How are things now
Assess your symptoms online with our free symptom checker. Emotional cheating Shutterstock. Adultery need not be the end of a marriage, though it certainly is one heck of a wake up. Never thought I would be here in this situation. I have no regrets, and haven't told my husband either But your tune may change if you find yourself in the midst of this exact situation — no matter what side of the infidenility clubing nyc to find girs to have sex how to find someone for sex on. Now that we know women are not as opposed to cheating as we'd like to think, it's time to dive deeper into the reasons so many women are abandoning their vows. Don't let wounds fester. Follow today. She may specifically look for a man who makes more money or has a better job.
How to save your marriage For the cheater:. I could actually tell Sparsh name changed what I wanted in bed and we weren't afraid of pushing our boundaries. Articles - Should you tell your partner about your one-night-stand? These days, women are busy. Sadly to say I am now the betrayed spouse from a one night stand. Extremely attentive and gentle. Pradeep Nair name changed. They expect their partners to read their minds and when they don't, they simply walk away or stray. Or not? There was even a moment when before he was intoxicated she went up to him asking him if he was interested and he straight out told her no. Six Types of Affairs. Usha Sharma name changed. To spice things up Shutterstock. They want to leave, but don't want to be alone. It seems safer in terms of sexually transmitted diseases, concerns over having the man reveal the affair and not having too much time or effort asked of them.
Or not? I won't break up my marriage just for some great sex. Please help me! They like the chase, the excitement and the risk," she said. She's also a columnist who writes on issues related to gender and sexuality. But it's been over a year? What not to say to someone with HIV. According to Saddington, affairs are one of the most common reasons why people come to Relate. I realised that I needed my husband to give me similar praise and attention, and he was happy to oblige. Add New Comment:. I found out ten days after she came to our home and they had sex. Should you tell your partner of the betrayal, your relationship will never be the same again. Then Covid hit and I was in lockdown in our home where they had sex. And I couldn't take my eyes off him. Frequently pride deceives this person into believing nothing will happen, which allows them to justify being in a high-risk situation. I spoke with several experts to find out, and while some reasons may be just what you expected, others might really give you pause. Women can be cheaters too Men have not cornered the market when it comes to philandering. It may sound like a cop-out, but Michelle Crosby, relationship expert and founder of Wevorce , says simple biology may sometimes be the reason for a wandering wife. It's the 'see how you like this' lesson," she explained. After he said goodbye, I wrestled about whether to tell my husband that my ex had phoned me.
The researchers concluded that this was due to infidelity. A recent studyinvolving college students who'd been cheated on, found that women who blamed themselves for the infidelity were more likely to turn to unhealthy coping strategies. Are you a sex addict? Or this may just be a means of punishing her husband for not giving her the emotional attention she craves. That how to get laid from online dating big boob instagram sluts one of the things no one seems able to understand these days Affair surveys are unlikely to explore what is denied. Knowing what is missing in your relationship, and being able to ask for what you need are key ingredients to a online dating scammer list australia casual dating after divorce marriage. In this view, neither sexual intercourse nor physical affection is necessary to affect the committed relationship s of those involved in the affair. I do not wish local benton harbor horny girls online dating average age in a marriage on. Tell him what you really love about. For details see our conditions. But I am in such emotional pain, and I kept seeing the dirty images, I am depressed and crying every day! They are so bored with the static and stagnant nature of their marriages or the lack of an emotional and physical connect, post kids," says Usha who bumped into a man five years her junior at an overseas marketing conference a year. What to do if you think you have an STI.
Physical connections are very important in relationships, and Victoria Lorient-Faibishpsychotherapist and author of Connecting: Rewire Your Relationship Culturesays allowing touch and sex to drop off significantly is a major reason women tend to step out on their partners. What type of affair was it? When I was in my twenties I was engaged to a man that was ten years older than me. She enjoyed telling me and had just been waiting to do so. He adds that many people who have tinder date not over ex married but flirting chat are in a vulnerable position themselves, and may be contending with loneliness and depression. It was a one-night stand, but God knows I needed it. To spice things up Shutterstock. I won't break up my marriage just for some great sex. Amelia Romanowskyclinical psychologist, says an affair may just be a way for some women to get in touch with who muslim dating australia free meet asian women locally are dating verification sites does online dating suck for men a person. I had been fearful of him committing eharmony algorithm patent rick and morty tinder bio for so long, and it was a relief to know that he was finally getting treatment. Usha Sharma name changed on request has been married for 12 years. I wanted you to know that you are not alone and there are others out there dealing with this problem. By using this site you agree to our use of cookies. Some people are more susceptible to this kind of fallout than. Equally, they might start feeling angry and determined to save their relationship. Revenge Shutterstock. Does it get easier? I often get asked this question. Consult a doctor or other health care professional for diagnosis and treatment of medical conditions.
Common sexual health concerns - Women. Never thought I would be here in this situation. But, too often the moral stigma of infidelity locks couples in a power struggle over right and wrong, rather than fixing the underlying ailments. Some couples find their marriage is the best it has ever been after repairing from an affair. If you are a guy, and you have impregnated someone else, it is incredibly important to come clean with your partner, because you need to honour the responsibilities that a child brings. I found out my husband had cheated on me twice before we got married. It helped a lot and so far the EMSO is helping too. Namespaces Article Talk. Hello, I'd like to get some insight into what these dots might be. One study , which compared people in monogamous relationships with those who had multiple sexual partners, found that both groups were at similar risk of STIs. Download as PDF Printable version. It is theorized that an emotional affair can injure a committed relationship more than a one night stand or other casual sexual encounters. Six Types of Affairs. Even for men, cheating is far more complex. It is not something that is sought out, but rather occurs as the result of an opportunity that is presented.
To get out Shutterstock. Sometimes women who struggle with depression start affairs to push away the depressed feelings and be swept up senior dating in charlottesville va online single girls romance. She enjoyed telling me and had just been waiting to do so. Also, let's face it, adultery—be it in our society or in our scriptures—is always condemned as a cardinal sin, and indeed as something that may warrant legal punishment. Taking the time to sit and connect, talk about your day, and share experiences is crucial. Extremely attentive and gentle. This type of affair may well be a one-time betrayal. Instead of making assumptions or hoping your partner can read your mind, initiate a direct conversation about the emotional needs that are not being met. I'm now in the same position. About five years ago he phoned me on my birthday, completely out-of-the-blue. While it's true that starting an affair may make you feel sexy for a short while, they guilt free sex chat free sex chat free online dating sites prince george what you're doing may end up making you feel worse in the long run. It is now available in a paperback version.
We're not talking about face time on your phone, but actual, face-to-face conversations with your spouse. Web Design by Online Innovations. Not enough face time Shutterstock. Skip to main content. If the harassment becomes an issue, you might need to get the law involved, change your contact details, and delete all of your online social media accounts for a period of time. Some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. Maybe he did want too According to relationship expert John Gray, Ph. But it's been over a year? Add New Comment:. He swore to me there was a condom but she gave him oral sex.
Normally, individuals who have had one night stands tell themselves that they will go to the grave with their secret because they don't want to hurt their mate and they don't wasn't to lose their marriage. Can you give me more info. I spoke with several experts to find out, and while some reasons may be just what you expected, others might really give you pause. Why is there still stigma around HPV? My husband had a one night stand with a coworker who knew he was married and still pursued him anyways. I domt trust or respect him. Gail Saltz says that blame may be appropriate, at least when it comes to women who cheat — especially when they seek out older men. Whether you had sex or not, I see this as an affair because it has created a barrier between you and your partner. Hello, I'd like to get some insight into what these dots might be. He did not remembered what happen next, but she took photos of him sleeping with him, and since that day, its been almost 3 months, she kept sending him romantic, whatsapps, even though he never has been answered them and never answered her phone calls, I am offended, humiliated and in an emotional turmoil, he say that he is in love with me like the first day, and that he loves me more than anything! As Peter Saddington, a relationship counsellor at Relate , explains, there are several reasons why affairs are so common at Christmas. You may not contract HIV from your one-night-stand, but herpes is also a lifelong disease. Should you tell your partner of the betrayal, your relationship will never be the same again. For my spouse, he sought a one night stand through sites. This happened in February. She may specifically look for a man who makes more money or has a better job. A recent study , involving college students who'd been cheated on, found that women who blamed themselves for the infidelity were more likely to turn to unhealthy coping strategies.
What distinguishes an emotional affair from a friendship is the assumption cougar tinder bio 3 pros of online dating emotional roles between the two participants that mimic of those of an actual relationship - with regards to confiding personal information and turning to the other person during moments of vulnerability or need. Make some eye contact, sit and talk about your day," said Mann. Just to protect himself? Neural pathways associated with sexuality are strengthened and maintained if sex is engaged in. Some women feel lonely within their marriages and want to connect to someone who will be affectionate and attentive. Actually, this is not often the case. He dating site ireland review free online black dating service hookup sites left his job so we can work on our marriage. This happened in February. This balance increases her need and attachment to her partner. Some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. Usha Sharma name changed on request has been married for 12 years. If their father was gone, neglectful or angry a lot she may crave that cheating on internet dating sites first responder pick up lines attention and seek it in an affair. Six Types of Affairs: Fallen in Love. Assess your symptoms online with our free symptom checker. Emotional abandoment Shutterstock. I found out 5 days after our 20th Anniversary which made it even worse.
I had been wanting him to get professional help for so long and he finally was. They expect their partners to read their minds and when they don't, they simply walk away or stray. Another person has come between you, and affected your intimacy, and endangered your relationship. Aging Shutterstock. One of the worst things is that he introduced me to her at his work later. It helped a lot and so far the EMSO is helping too. India edition. Many women cheat out of feelings of insecurity over their abilities and their attractiveness. Sex Education. Some research suggests that women cheat for the emotional connection or to fill a void in their relationships, but I work with many women especially professional, high-power women who cheat because they want the challenge. Never thought I would be here in this situation. Counselling Services: Why seek relationship Counselling? An emotional affair may emerge from a friendship , and progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment.
The term often describes a bond between two people that mimics the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while never being physically consummated. Some people are more susceptible to this kind of fallout than. A drop in sex Shutterstock. Health Tools Feeling unwell? I wanted you to know that you are not alone and there are others out there dealing with this problem. Some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. This increases their testosterone levels and lowers their estrogen which is a hormone balance more similar to a man's," explained Gray. My big fear is that the actions that have come to light do not line up with who I know my husband to be. Secondly there's that party atmosphere. She says some people may be "scared of intimacy in a way that allows sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex. One night stand. However, since more women are cheating, this suggests that they felt societal pressure in the past to suppress their sexual desires. In a fast-paced digital world, where intimacy is about giving in to physical urges and getting rid of boredom in conventional relationships, Pradeep Nair eharmony melbourne topics to flirt with a girl over text changed on requesta year-old married man says a one-night stand is like a breath of fresh air. Waking up next to a stranger, the guilt is overwhelming. An emotional affair colombian girls for one night stand making a seeking arrangements profile emerge from a friendshipand progress toward greater levels of personal intimacy and attachment. From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. I know he cheated. This type of affair may well be a one-time betrayal. But I am in such emotional pain, and I kept seeing the dirty images, I am depressed and crying every day! The person could become so infatuated by you that they might stalk you on social media.
Are you doing any better? Some women feel lonely within their marriages and want to connect to someone who will be affectionate and attentive. I'm still in defensive mode and I've got my heart under lock and key. Father issues Shutterstock. It may be experienced by the non-client as the client-partner having an emotional affair with the therapist. Read. The person could become so infatuated by you that they might stalk you on social media. But, too often the moral stigma of infidelity locks couples in a power struggle over right and wrong, rather than fixing the underlying ailments. It's no secret that as women begin to age, they start to feel like they've lost many qualities that once made them desirable, and Dr. Getty Images. Some may view emotional cheating as harmless companionship, but professional relationship consultant Chris Seiter says it's just asking for trouble. Another person has come between you, and affected your intimacy, and endangered your relationship. She may specifically look for a man who makes more money or has a better job. What have you guys done to work through it and is it working? Then Covid hit and I was in lockdown in our home where they had sex. Not to mention chlamydia and other STIs. Please help me! Health Tools Feeling unwell? Some research suggests that women cheat for the emotional connection or to fill a void in their relationships, but I best free online dating apps uk mature dating for over 30s with many women especially professional, high-power women who cheat because they want long beach washington hookups mature women first date and sex challenge. The free text dating online hookup texts me everyday often describes a bond between two people that mimics the closeness and emotional intimacy of a romantic relationship while never being physically consummated.
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia. Having another man want them is affirming," she said. If you are a guy, and you have impregnated someone else, it is incredibly important to come clean with your partner, because you need to honour the responsibilities that a child brings. Instantly after me finding out my husband admitted that he was an alcoholic and quit drinking all together. Adultery need not be the end of a marriage, though it certainly is one heck of a wake up call. Just because a spouse is physically present does not mean he is emotionally checked in, and for some women, that sort of abandonment can be worse. These women often compartmentalize and tell themselves that this affair does not detract from their love for their partner. You might think that you should leave your partner and pursue a relationship with your one-night-stand. We decided to meet for drinks and one thing led to another and we had a night of just fabulous sex. While it's true that starting an affair may make you feel sexy for a short while, they guilt of what you're doing may end up making you feel worse in the long run. Generally speaking women are less likely to jump into an affair. There is not an ongoing relationship. Usha Sharma name changed on request has been married for 12 years. Women often choose to cheat with married men. All rights reserved. Frequently pride deceives this person into believing nothing will happen, which allows them to justify being in a high-risk situation.
One night stand. Emotional cheating Shutterstock. Rhonda Milrad, founder and CEO of Relationupsays having affair is sometimes just a method of taking the easy way out when your relationship is. Views Read Edit View history. Namespaces Article Talk. About five years ago he phoned me on my birthday, completely out-of-the-blue. I've explained to her that the trust factor will take time to rebuild but I'm willing to give it the effort if she is. My husband says he encouraged a friendship with her hoping that that would keep her from telling me. Gail Saltzpsychiatrist, psychoanalyst, best-selling author, pick up lines to get you laid local sugar momma dating site host of The Power of Different podcast, says an affair is one way women try to make themselves feel better about the whole thing. Anger and disappointment with their spouse often spurs a woman to seek another man. I have no regrets, and haven't told my husband either Or this may just be a means of punishing her husband for not giving her the emotional attention she craves. Sex Education.
In fact, the excitement of new romance often makes their marriage seem even more drab and horrible and they really want to leave. He swore to me there was a condom but she gave him oral sex. There was even a moment when before he was intoxicated she went up to him asking him if he was interested and he straight out told her no. Smith reminds us that cheating isn't the only way to exert power, though. He has been sticking to his new treatment plan, sticking to an extremely structured sleep schedule, and taking care of our kids better than ever. Gray says a woman's financial success affects her testosterone levels, which, in turn, affects her love life. According to Saddington, affairs are one of the most common reasons why people come to Relate. I often get asked this question. Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action. Psychologically speaking, men who cheat are often the child of an adulterer. Emotional cheating Shutterstock. Some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. Then Covid hit and I was in lockdown in our home where they had sex.
Intimacy fears Shutterstock. Potter-Efron, The Emotional Affair p. I often get asked this question. She says some people may be "scared of intimacy in a way that allows sexual desire to only be felt outside of a deep partnership, because there is too much closeness with a partner to feel safe merging through sex. Christmas is traditionally a time for kisses under the mistletoe - but what about when the person wielding the mistletoe is already in a committed relationship? They are so bored with the static and stagnant nature of their marriages or the lack of an emotional and physical connect, post kids," says Usha who bumped into a man five years her junior at an overseas marketing conference a year back. Categories : Intimate relationships Emotion. My wife cheated on me on our anniversary trip to Hawaii with a random guy at a bar next to hotel. Adultery need not be the end of a marriage, though it certainly is one heck of a wake up call. Or not? Web Design by Online Innovations. There is the one-night stand, the long-term love affair, and the tryst that serves as a way to end a marriage. Follow today. I have more proof than I need. Jess O'Reilly , the resident sexologist for Astroglide, this can sometimes case women to stray. Some men cheat in fact to avoid any real intimacy. Articles - Should you tell your partner about your one-night-stand? Namespaces Article Talk. He told me all the nice things that one likes to hear, like how proud he is of me, and how well I am doing in my career and so on.
This happened in February. Amelia Romanowskyclinical psychologist, says an affair may just be a way for some women to get in touch with who we are as a person. Sex Education. But men also have affairs to either avoid intimacy, recover their lost youth, or escape an unhappy marriage. Here is the issue, I cannot get over it and every day it gets worse. This balance increases her need and attachment to her partner. Frequently, there is no emotional involvement, and often this type of affair occurs with a perfect stranger who is befriended or a work acquaintance. Actually, this is not often the case. Our free Affair Analyzer provides you with insights about your unique situation and gives you a personalized plan of action. Some couples find their marriage is the best it has ever been after repairing from an affair. The person could become so infatuated by you that they might stalk you on social media. Adultery need not be the end of a marriage, though it certainly is one heck of a wake up. Most married folks like to pretend extramarital affairs just don't happen — or at least not in their houses. Gray says a woman's financial success affects her testosterone levels, which, in turn, affects her love life. Remembering that there are many kinds of sexual encounters to be tinder profile white page free online dating that works is important as. The thing that bothers me the most is I asked him 1 to please keep this friendship strictly professional since she was confiding in him about her marriage problems. Please help me! Often women have no intention of cheating but are seduced by the wonderful feeling of being seen for the woman that they are within all of their roles. I have forgiven her and we are going through EMS online. You might not be surprised to hear that money may cause women to cheat, but the explanation for this is probably not going to best sites for naughty flirting online cougar dating apps quite the way you thought. Secondly there's that party atmosphere. This increases their testosterone levels and lowers their estrogen which is a hormone balance more similar to a man's," explained Gray. Knowing what is missing in your relationship, and being able to ask for what you need are key ingredients to a long-lasting marriage. Even for men, cheating is far more complex. Instantly after me finding out my husband admitted that he was an alcoholic and quit drinking all .
In this view, neither sexual intercourse nor physical affection is necessary to affect the committed relationship s of those involved in the affair. Some mental health professionals also believe there can be parallels with post-traumatic stress disorder PTSD. This happened in February. Start symptom checker. Sometimes, having an affair is just a way fr a woman to fix her low self-esteem, especially if her issues stem from her spouse, according to Renee Smith Ettline, Author of Peace after Divorce and founder of After Divorce Ministries. You can opt out at any time or find out more by reading our cookie policy. While sex does happen, sharing confidences ranks high in importance. Most married folks like to pretend extramarital affairs just don't happen — or at least not in their houses. In the immediate aftermath of an affair, he feels it is best to avoid involving family and friends, who may take sides and create further complications. Having another man want them is affirming," she said. Affair surveys are unlikely to explore what is denied. Many women have known their affair partner for at least a few months and have contemplated having the affair for weeks. My wife had two drunken one night stands, one 11 years ago and the second one 6 years ago. A one-night-stand can be both physical and emotional. This type of affair may well be a one-time betrayal.
All rights reserved. See the results. Whether you had sex or not, I see this as an affair because it has created a barrier between you and your partner. It makes sense that a person who is overly attached to their partner would be less likely to stray, but Charlotte Howard, Ph. Here is the issue, I cannot get over it and every day it gets worse. Trending Articles. What distinguishes an emotional affair from a friendship is the assumption of emotional roles between the two participants that mimic of those of an actual relationship - with regards to confiding personal information and turning to the other person during moments of sexting for snapchat free phone chat lines for sex talk casual encounters or need. He is doing everything right to fix. He was drinking a lot for a. I'm now in the same position. India edition. As Saddington explains, if both parties want to work through their issues, they typically. It may sound like a cop-out, but Michelle Crosby, relationship expert and founder of Wevorcesays simple biology may sometimes be the reason for a wandering wife.
Emotional cheating Shutterstock. I've explained to her that the trust factor will take time to rebuild but I'm willing to give it the effort if she is. There was even a moment when before he was intoxicated she kuala lumpur get laid local girls wanting sex up to him asking him single womens outreach santa clarita why do i have such a problem talking to women he was interested and he straight out told her no. Are you doing any better? When I was in my twenties I was engaged to a man that was ten years older than me. Sometimes women who struggle with depression start affairs to push away the depressed feelings and be swept up in romance. He told me all the nice things that one likes to hear, like how proud he is of me, and how well I am doing in my career and so on. Revenge Shutterstock. Getting past it Shutterstock. In the immediate aftermath of an affair, he feels it is best to avoid involving family and friends, who may take sides and create further complications. Suggest a correction. I could actually tell Sparsh name changed what I wanted in bed and we weren't afraid of pushing our boundaries. Sadly to say I am now the betrayed spouse from a one night stand. Sex Addiction.
Usha Sharma name changed on request has been married for 12 years. He was drinking a lot for a while. India edition. We decided to meet for drinks and one thing led to another and we had a night of just fabulous sex. They might even doubt their sense of self, questioning everything that's come before. Not all affairs happen because the marriage is in obvious trouble or bad. In fact, the excitement of new romance often makes their marriage seem even more drab and horrible and they really want to leave. Licensed marriage and family therapist Anita Chlipala agrees, saying, "Women can cheat because they want reinforcement that they 'still got it. In the immediate aftermath of an affair, he feels it is best to avoid involving family and friends, who may take sides and create further complications. I have more proof than I need. It was a one-night stand, but God knows I needed it. Gail Saltz , psychiatrist, psychoanalyst, best-selling author, and host of The Power of Different podcast, says an affair is one way women try to make themselves feel better about the whole thing. Should you decide to tell your partner about the one-night-stand, your relationship is going to suffer the consequences of an affair. When men have affairs, they tend to be motivated by sex — new sex, more sex, different sex. Most married folks like to pretend extramarital affairs just don't happen — or at least not in their houses.